Musings straight from the heart (and clearly not from AI) about wedding prep, continuity of care in pregnancy and birth, affordability of doula support and antenatal education.

Warning: This blog post may remind you that you need a pedicure, or that you need to prioritise birth prep more than the baby’s nursery furniture!

Today I had a pedicure with my mum in prep for being maid of honour for both my best friend this week and then my sister in two weeks time. I will start by saying, the prep women put into wedding season is impressive and if you take anything from this blog post, or if you are about to exit the website tab, just remember this analogy… The preparation, from the practical things all the way to the mental visualisation of walking down the aisle as part of the wedding party (or better yet the bride), is all to make sure the wedding celebrations go smoothly and you don’t need to be faffing on the big day. Who wants to be anxiously finalising the last bits on the wedding morning instead of sipping on champagne and enjoying the process and magic of it all? This is the same for birth. You want to be mentally, physically and practically as prepared as possible before the big day. Put down the Mamas & Papas shopping list, cancel the John Lewis baby appointment and get yourself to a hypnobirthing course or some pregnancy yoga. Commit to buying a second hand buggy and put the money you would have spent on a shiny-for-5-minutes new one towards a doula or some specific antenatal prep that makes you feel empowered for the birth you desire, within a limited and under resourced system.

Back to the pedicure. I was sitting getting my little piggies looking fresh for the silver heels I’d be wearing in 48 hours time when suddenly, the lovely lady who had been doing my nails, swapped over with a different employee, equally as competent, trained the same, but he didn’t know my colour choice… I hadn’t yet connected with him socially or physically, he hadn’t been the one scrubbing or massaging my feet and suddenly here he was, painting my nails and finishing the process. It suddenly struck me, there wasn’t anything wrong with him taking over, except it caught me off guard and he felt unfamiliar. Imagine this same scenario in birth. You are passed from midwife to midwife, explaining your journey so far every single time and maybe never actually feeling seen or known in your short check up appointmtents throughout pregnancy.

Now picture this instead. You have written your birth preferences, met with the same midwife the entire pregnancy, she knows you, your humour, your bump, baby’s positioning, your medical history, you and your partners wishes for the birth, even your fears! Imagine this midwife then being the one present at the birth of your baby. The feeling of security, the feeling of joy that they get to share this milestone moment with you. The safety you’d feel knowing you don’t have to explain *in between contractions* what your wishes are, or even what your past trauma is!

You’re not alone if this sounds great to you. Surveys show roughly 68% to 74% of pregnant women express strong interest in receiving continuity of care. Other studies show that continuity of care is linked to lower rates of caesarean and instrumental births (like forceps or ventouse). It is also linked to lower chances of preterm birth and fetal loss and significantly higher satisfaction scores, including less reported anxiety during pregnancy and labour. So, it’s not just a case of the nail technician knowing my colour choice, it is me feeling known and safe…much like a birthing person knowing that trust has already been built.

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A photo of myself and my best friend Maddie. She is my inspiration for commiting my future to birth work. She was my continuous support throughout pregnancy, birth and postpartum. Remember, support doesn’t always need to cost money. Maddie knew the pit falls of the system well, had given birth herself and knew me closely. That’s all that was required for me to feel like I had an added advocate, other than my husband, throughout labour.
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The problem is, continuity of care is very rare within the current maternity system here in the UK. Despite proof that it saves the NHS a fortune in the long run, it is apparently a luxury that cannot be afforded right now. Which leaves pregnant women, once again in the lurch. One skill we should all learn in life, but especially in pregnancy and parenthood, is to concentrate on what we can control, and let go of what we cannot. When it comes to continuity of care, we have to grieve the care we deserve and yet won’t be given from our care providers and instead look into the options that are within our budget to ensure we are equipped for birth. While I will not pretend that a doula is affordable for everyone, I know there is a large spectrum of prices for doulas, most willing to negotiate or let you pay in instalments to make it easier on the wallet. There are incredible hypnobirthing classes that give not only community but confidence and tools for birth and are more budget friendly. I offer a bi-weekly walk for pregnant women at Wimbledon Park, in South London. Called the Wednesday Waddle, which is designed to help bring pregnant women community and a space to reflect on their fears of and their desires for birth. Free groups like this are also a great way to ensure you are processing your feelings through pregnancy and is a safe place for other women’s experiences, plans and desires to inspire your own. Social media is great, but can sometimes feel more overwhelming than helpful - nothing compares to truly building relationship with other people in the same season as you. It is an echo of the old days when our female ancestors would have relied on the education and empowerment from others in their community to birth their babies.

Another great way to begin your journey of empowered birth planning and the persuit of continuity of care is to research!

“Knoweledge is power” they say…

Start your pregnancy reading with Birth Power, by Megan Rossiter.

Start your community building with the Wednesday Waddle, 1pm, The Drop (Coffee Shop) , Revelstoke Road, Wimbledon Park. Dates here.

Start your research into continuity of care for your birth by booking in a free connection call with me where we can discuss your desires and options!

If you got this far, I applaud your patience, you have unlocked a new skill for birth. Endurance.

Much love,

The Joyful Doula x

Why is continuity of support so important?